The story of my Pandora’s Box

Let me explain what this is about. In Greek Mythology, Pandora was the first woman on Earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create her. So he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many gifts: Athena clothed her, Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo gave her musical ability, and Hermes gave her speech.

According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus’ brother Epimetheus. Pandora opens a jar containing death and many other evils which were released into the world. She hastened to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – Elpis (usually translated “hope”, though it could also mean “expectation”).

Last night, I had someone poking around in my head, and found my Pandora’s Box. I told her that it’s not wise to open that box. There is a reason it’s locked and in a corner. Like a locked door, it should remain locked, unopened, and left alone. But apparently, this person couldn’t leave well enough alone. I opened it up and let all the ugly things that have happened in my life out and it’s going to take some time to get them rounded up, sedated and put back in the box for good this time. Never to be opened, again, ever. I had a hard time sleeping last night with the little nasty things, bad memories, and ugly creatures running around in my head and dreams.

When some people have a Pandora’s Box (or jar, as Mythology states) and it remains open all the time, they most likely, will become psychopaths, mentally ill due to the inability to handle the thoughts or dreams, or end up ending their lives because they cannot handle the pain, the terror and the never ending cycle of bullshit that’s in their life.

Why is it that there are Gladys Kravits’ out there that need to be so nosy, snooping around in places where they don’t belong; asking questions that don’t need to be asked, flashing light in areas that should remain dark. We all have some kind of box that has ugly things in it, things best left alone, and undisturbed. But yet, there are some folks that feel that it’s their right, their mission in life, and god given right (for lack of a better word) to poke around in someone’s head, not knowing what’s in that box, behind that door, or in that huge dark jar! There is a personal reason we all have the box closed. It’s embarrassing, frightening, and causes night terrors in adults.

So, when people who have control issues, and they push and push and push to see inside the box/door/inside the jar, and they don’t like what they see or hear, they automatically judge the person, run far from us and then refuse to talk to us or want to be with us, leaving us feeling less of who we are, dirty and unloveable, and nonetheless, bring out all the bad memories that will take quite a while to put back into that box and seal it. There was a monster in my head that always threatened to escape the cell I put it in and destroy me. I finally built a wall in front of that cell door, sound insulated it, and plastered, painted it and hung a great looking painting on that wall. It has been years since I have heard that monster behind the wall in my head. Last night, I thought I heard it screaming, again. I thought it would have been dead by now, but it survives, somehow.

Look, basically, we’ve all done things that we aren’t proud of or would brag about. Truly. We’d rather hide them away and leave them in the past, since there is no way that we can change our past. Frankly, if we could,, this world would be a completely different place. If we could change the past, the world we live in would look completely different, in my opinion. Maybe JFK would have lived. Maybe Hitler would have succeeded, who knows. That’s why we CANNOT change our past. We can only change who we are and we we will become. I am not the same person I was years, ago. I have paid my dues, and tried to do things to make others smile. Pandora’s Box should never be messed with. EVER! If we tell you, friends, lovers, mates, anyone that means anything to us, that the box is not to be messed with, BELIEVE IT! LEAVE IT ALONE! There are personal, confidential and mental reasons that we don’t let anyone near it. Trust us! We are who we are, and if that’s not good enough, then by all means, don’t stick around. If you can’t live with the truth if you want that box open……don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. By all means!!!
In the end, Pandora was sad that she had opened the box, but Zeus tempted her. The last thing that flew out of the box was a bug….HOPE. I keep that hope alive thinking that I’ll find someone who accepts me for who I am, not all the bad things that happened in my life.

 

 

 

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