So, here it is, another month into 2014 and nothing has changed. The world is still spinning, people are still getting laid, and the status of things are still F’ ed up. BUT! We have the same damn guy in the Oval Office. Thanks, Ohio..how’s that working out for you????
Before I go any further, I want to say that I started this column last year and never finished it. Yea, I know, I procrastinate, who doesn’t? I have to say that a lot has changed since last year.
I moved back to Washington State and out of Phoenix, had one relationship end and had another begin. I think that’s where I want to start.
My last marriage (no 3 for those who lost count!) didn’t last more than 14 months. ( I did the math after finding my decree and counted the months) Have you ever had one of those feelings that when things start moving down the tracks, and you get the feeling that it’s moving too fast, momentum is just too much to get it to stop? That’s how I felt at my last wedding and I use that word loosely. It was more of a fast moving train, to get to the last stop before it’s too late. So much was done and put together and it didn’t quite feel like it was right. The reception was not quite right…her mother told everyone what a loser I was..during the reception. Then I found out that the new MIL was talking smack about me during the engagement party that I had carefully planned out, put together and ended so badly.
During the 14 months, I came to realize that one thing was certain….this was not how I wanted to live my life. Always being stressed, left at home for weeks and not really feeling married until the weekends, but that was short lived as well. Come Sunday, I was taking her to the airport once again for another week. I was told that it wasn’t going to always be this bad. I guess there are degrees to “be this bad”. In the end, when I decided to move to Washington State, I was told that I would be going alone. Why didn’t that surprise me? I guess I knew all along that I was a convenience. I was there to look after the dog, do laundry, and take care of the household things when she was out of town. I worked, and albeit, it was part time, but it ended up being full time when all was said and done. So, yea, I was her convenient houseboy.
I look back on that whole situation and think about what I missed: the landmarks, the signs, the bumps in the road to know that it was all wrong. I had been in an apartment for two years and I was comfortable, knowing some of my neighbors and being able to sit and talk to them without worries.
Then came the house. We “needed” to get out of the apartment that I had been living in since it wasn’t exactly her taste in living arrangements. In translation, that means we weren’t living in a house like the rest of her family. I was low class in an apartment. So, we found a house that she liked and I thought it was cute but a tad expensive. It was over $300 more a month and no worries, we could afford it. I was always concerned that if one of us got sick, hurt or wasn’t able to work, all that rent would fall on one person. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, she said. Guess what? It did. It’s one of life’s biggest surprise when Murphy comes to roost. She got sick on one of her out of town trips and to this day, she is still not working. So, my biggest concern came true and in the pit of my stomach, I knew it was going to come to fruition. Somehow, I have always had this ability to see into the near future…don’t ask how, I just have had that in me. I knew that it would happen when she was out of town.
So, I followed my heart and left Phoenix. Frankly, I hated the desert. More than life itself. My life was a train wreck while I was there. I went to Phoenix to “Help” my dad. Yea, that became SUPPORT the old man while he tried to be a player. I laughed at his feeble attempt to date women. He had no clue as to what a gentleman was supposed to be like. I just sat and watched as he crashed and burned every time he tried dating. I didn’t say anything, just shook my head, and walked away thinking what’s it like to keep running into the same brick wall.
When I finally came to Washington, I had been talking to Karen. She lived in Keizer, Oregon. We both had the same basic background. Three failed marriages, two not lasting very long and one that lasted longer than it was fun.
Since Labor Day,we have been together day in and day out, seven days a week. Being new to the area, working together at the same job and not knowing anyone else, we tried really hard to not get on each other’s nerves. Better than I had it in Phoenix, when I lived with my dad in Sun City, a retirement community. When I was in Phoenix, I didn’t know a soul and where everyone acted like Dracula. They didn’t ever come out of their houses after the sun went down and it cooled off, but just long enough to get the mail, check the street for god knows what and then disappear inside not to be seen till the next night. I always wondered how many of those people slept in a coffin, to A) save burial expenses and B) they were really vampires. I know, an overactive imagination…but, hey, it could happen….it could…..ok, maybe not. Stop poking the dead animal….(shaking my head…)
So, where was I? Oh, right. Now that I am in Vancouver, I love the cold weather, the clouds and more importantly, the SEASONS!! We have more than one!! YAYYYYYY!!! Phoenix has 2. Cold and freakin’ hot!! I mean so hot you burn your hands on the car door when you try to open it!! Holy hell!!! Who wants to live in a convection oven?
Sorry, I digress…back to our story.
As the holidays came around, I felt a bit lost. A bit? Karen says, a BUTTLOAD!!! Yea, ok, I was a miserable son of a bitch. Happy now,Skippy? I was transitioning…I think that’s a good term. From one place to another, Christmas coming, no job, kind of a bleak outlook, not sure what was next and then….Karen and I had a loooooooong talk. I had to take a good look at what I had going for me. A woman who loves me without question or hesitation, a place to live, back in the Pacific Northwest, and closer to my son. That was the bottom line: I no longer was a convenience, but with someone who wanted me around, and loves me.
We decided to get married this coming February, and start planning on a life that is filled with joy, excitement, travel, and the usual day to day events that we both have wanted for so long.
What is this whole thing about? I have no idea…just one rant after another. There was a saying, “A bitching sailor is a happy Sailor.” Or something like that. I’d like to think it’s a story of one man’s journey into the desert and back again….with a whole lot of soul searching in between. When I am on my death bed, I want to be able to say, “WOW, THAT was quite a life, huh? Adventure, torture, love, excitement, and a test of faith. I hope I passed the exam!”
Don’t’ we all want to be able to say that in the end? What an adventure! Not Hey, I made it to 85, 87, whatever age you are when you are on your deathbed. But where’s the excitement? Where’s the adventure?
I was able to stay longer than most others and I am so lucky. All the things I was able to see, experience, feel and those I loved and still love.
Ole Uncle Dave is looking at the future and honestly, it looks pretty good from this vantage point. The friends I have acquired along the way, the excitement I experienced, the places I saw, the music I sang or heard, and most of all, the people that crossed my path. After watching “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, I know that when you get to where ever one goes when they pass over, I have always wondered if you get to meet those five or more people that made a difference in your life, that taught you what you knew or how you touched others’ lives. I think about that from time to time. Who would I like to meet, again, or who would I have to face? If you did wrong in your life, you’d better be prepared to make amends for those things…I hope God has Dragons. That would be cool. I could finally ride one and be able to know one of these great beasts! Well, fellow babies, that’s all for now…signing off…till next time…Happy Trails!